A Terrifying Tale

[WARNING, the following depiction is not for the faint of heart. Proceed at your own risk!!!]

Back about one year’s time, I donned my black traveling cloak and descended into the unforgiving chill of the early morning. I was weary as I carried my belongings into the beginning of a journey that would land me in an otherworldly place so shocking, so captivating, that I have only my pen and a fleeting sense of the true nature of my experience to express the horrors that lay waiting for me, deep in the heart of Texas…

I shall start on the eve of All Hallows’ Eve, the crux of the pivoting point that was soon to spin me around and spit me into the depths of a world unknown to me or any other mortals that I have had the pleasure of keeping company during my short and fantastic life here on Earth. It was upon early evening on October the 30th that I found myself entangled with an unsightly predicament that began to form the arc of my descent into utter madness. I was deep in conversation with my brother, a few years my junior, who had provided me with lodging upon my arrival. He had become lost in expressing his excitement for his recent acquisition of a newly restored audio sound system and several vinyl albums. As he arose from his sitting chair to reference a volume of one of his many books that lined the dark oak shelves of his parlor, I snuck a look into the deep black sheen of my cellular device. I was struck with sudden horror as I realized that the time had escaped me there, sitting in that chamber and that I had much to do! 

What began was a miracle of horrors as I began to twist and turn through my makeup image for the evening. I had Cherry as my guiding life. My force which tethered me into grace. I was able to manage a dramatic look, perfect and slightly scary for the evening’s events. In a crazed daze, I heavily applied Cherry to my lips, cheeks and lids. It was maddeningly easy. I became so frenzied to capture my beautiful face with my cellular device that I exited my chamber and into the night’s light. In a flash, I was overtaken by a figure from the shadows where I was bitten upon the neck by A VAMPIRE. The End.

- “Vampiria” FKA Hanna

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1 comment

Very nice EAPoe spoof!


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Hanna Kohn

Hanna Kohn is the Operations Manager & Marketing Coordinator with Green Life Trading Co. where she has been educating and connecting individuals and small businesses with sustainable products and solutions since 2021. She holds a degree in Communication Arts from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and is a Sustain Dane Master Recycler and Water Steward. When she's not at the shop, Hanna volunteers at WVMO 98.7 FM - Monona's Community Radio Station where she hosts Playhouse, a weekly broadcast of music including contemporary electronic, synth pop and jazz. Connect with Hanna via email: hanna@greenlifetradingco.com